Beauty after babies: what I’m adding back (and what I’m leaving behind)

Beauty before babies: a full reset

Having a baby has a funny way of resetting everything, including how you think about beauty. Not in a dramatic makeover way, but more like quietly stripping things down to the basics and then asking yourself, what actually matters to me now?

I had my first baby in 2022, but the reset started earlier than that. There was a global pandemic, two cross-country moves, and then pregnancy. One thing after another, and my beauty routine was completely wiped clean.

What my beauty routine used to look like

Before 2020, I had a pretty standard maintenance routine. I highlighted my hair blonde a few times a year. I started doing Botox about three times a year. I had tried things like laser hair removal and IPL for sunspots. I got regular pedicures, had my eyebrows threaded, and spent money on skincare, makeup, and clothes.

Nothing extreme, but it was consistent. And it made me feel put together.

Then everything stopped

When the pandemic hit, all of it stopped. I moved and no longer had a hair person. My highlights turned into two basic haircuts a year. Botox went away. Nails, brows, everything. I also had to cut out skincare staples like Retin-A once I started trying to get pregnant.

Over the past four years, I’ve been pregnant three times, including one miscarriage, and I’ve breastfed twice. For that entire stretch, my beauty routine has basically been nonexistent. No treatments, no procedures, no extras. Just haircuts and survival mode.

Now I’m asking: what comes back?

I’m done having babies and will likely wean breastfeeding in the next few months. And now I’m left with this question: what do I actually want to add back in?

I’m trying to be intentional instead of jumping straight back to old habits.

Hair: the biggest question mark

Hair is the hardest decision for me. I do like how I look with lighter hair. I feel brighter, less drab. But once you start dyeing your hair, it’s a real commitment. It’s expensive, time-consuming, and hard to undo.

Part of me thinks I should embrace my natural dark brown hair, especially since I probably only have a few years before grays start forcing my hand anyway. For now, I’m still on the fence.

What I’m comfortable adding back

Botox is one thing I feel good about bringing back, probably once or twice a year. The fine lines are less fine than they used to be, and I’m okay with that help.

Pedicures will stay minimal. I don’t care about polish anymore, but I do appreciate a basic pedicure for maintenance every couple of months.

Same with eyebrows. I’ll get them threaded occasionally, but mostly keep up with them myself.

IPL is something I loved in the past and might do again someday, but it’s expensive and not a priority right now.

Skincare is where I’m excited. I’ll definitely be adding Retin-A and a few other active ingredients back in once I can.

What I’m leaving behind

I have no desire for spray tans or fake lashes. I spend far less on makeup now and only replace what I already use. I’m not interested in trying every new product.

With clothes, I’m being more intentional too. Less online shopping, more occasional in-person purchases when I actually need a refresh.

The power of a forced reset

Between the pandemic, moving, and having kids, you’re forced out of autopilot. You realize how many things you were doing simply because you’d always done them.

Stripping it all away makes you ask: what actually makes me feel good?

That said, I do feel a little dull. And I’m ready for a refresh. I’m okay being a bit vain again. I’m looking forward to focusing on myself.

One thing I did do for me

One decision I don’t regret at all: Invisalign. I had braces as a kid, stopped wearing my retainer in college, and over time my front teeth shifted. I started fixating on my smile in the mirror and in photos.

I did Invisalign on my top teeth, and I’m almost done. It wasn’t something I would have even considered five years ago, but I’m so glad I did it. I feel better about my smile, and that matters to me.

Rethinking “mommy makeovers”

I’ve noticed more moms on social media getting things like boob jobs. It’s not something I plan to do, but I get it now in a way I didn’t before.

After kids, your body feels tired. Used. Changed. Wanting to feel better in your own skin doesn’t mean you’re doing it for the male gaze. It’s for you.

I think I used to be more judgmental about that. Now, after two kids, I understand it completely.

An intentional way forward

If you’re in this same post-baby space, trying to figure out what feels right for your body and appearance, all the more power to you.

The goal isn’t to go back to who you were. It’s to decide, intentionally, what helps you feel like yourself now.