Baby sleep in the age of AI: Lessons from baby #1 and baby #2

Before having my second baby, I knew sleep could vary from one child to the next. Understanding that in theory, though, is very different from living it.

Baby number one: when sleep just happened

With my first baby, sleep kind of worked itself out. No, he wasn’t a miracle baby who slept through the night at 10 weeks, but by month five, the nights worked themselves out.

Around three months, he naturally fell into a 7 p.m. bedtime. His first stretch just kept getting longer until eventually he was sleeping from about 7 p.m. to 1 a.m., then waking around 3 and 5, and then up for the day. It felt very textbook.

He was primarily bottle-fed. I pumped and combo-fed with formula, and he had a huge appetite. Honestly, if we let him, he would have taken 36 to 40 ounces a day. Looking back, we probably overfed him a bit, but the upside was that he definitely didn’t need calories overnight.

By about five or six months, his night sleep just clicked.

We didn’t really do formal sleep training with him. The only time we intervened was with naps. I can’t remember the exact timeline, I think it happended when he dropped to two naps. There was a little bit of crying involved, but nothing major.

Baby number two: a totally different vibe

Baby number two has been a very different story.

He’s breastfed, which already changes things. I don’t know how many ounces he’s getting, but he’s growing great, 95% height, 72% weight. My first was also quite large. We also used a Snoo this time, and by around ten weeks he was giving us consistent six-hour stretches most nights.

Honestly, he probably could have gone even longer, but I was waking him up because my breasts were so full and I didn’t want to pump.

The catch was that he had no consistent bedtime.

We would aim for 8 p.m., but he would go down for 45 minutes and pop right back up. Most nights, he didn’t truly settle until around 10 p.m. Then he would sleep in. If we let him, he would go past 8 a.m., which felt wild compared to my first, who took forever to even make it to 7.

He was clearly a night owl.

The four-month chaos

Around four months, everything started to unravel.

We hit a sleep regression, which I somehow avoided with my first. We transitioned him out of the Snoo because he was rolling. We traveled to California. He started teething and popped two teeth just before five months. A lot was happening all at once.

Suddenly, he was waking every two to three hours. I would nurse him back to sleep, and by morning he wasn’t hungry at all because he had basically been snacking all night. That was the moment I realized we needed to be more intentional.

Why we decided to sleep train this time

This time around, I actually leaned into sleep training.

What’s funny is how different the process feels now compared to a few years ago. With my first, I remember endless Googling. Ferber method versus extinction. Moms on Call. Taking Cara Babies. Blogs, forums, and conflicting advice. It was overwhelming.

This time, I used AI to help me understand the options and tailor a plan. I landed on a classic Ferber-style approach, and we went for it.

How sleep training is going so far

Night one went better than I expected.

Three minutes of crying, check-in. Five minutes, check-in. Then he fell asleep. He woke again around 9:30 and needed a little more help, including some longer intervals, but eventually settled.

We’re still keeping one to two night feeds, which feels age-appropriate.

One big difference between my two kids is the pacifier. My first loved it. My second does not. He will sometimes use it briefly, but it’s not a major soothing tool for him, which definitely changes the equation.

By night two, things already felt smoother. He went down around 7:15, took about 20 minutes to fully settle, and didn’t have that early wake-up. I did a dream feed at 10 p.m., then fed him again around 2 and 5 a.m.

Where we’re hoping to land

Right now, the goal looks something like this:

A 7 to 7:30 p.m. bedtime
A 10 p.m. dream feed
One overnight feed (around 3 a.m.)
A 7 a.m. wake-up

We’re not there yet, but it feels realistic.

What this experience has taught me

If there’s one takeaway from all of this, it’s that sleep really does vary baby to baby.

The pacifier matters. Bottle-fed versus breastfed matters. Tools like the Snoo can make the early months easier but complicate transitions later. And having real-time support, whether from a partner, a friend, or yes, even AI, can make a huge difference.

To any parents in the thick of it, trust your instincts, use the tools that work for you and your family, and here’s hoping we all get some longer stretches soon.